Lesson to All Wedding Photographers

By far, the coolest job at a wedding is the flamenco guitar player.

Get over it. It's true. This guy is a stud. Total stud. We the wedding photographer, are way to involved in the process. We are booked months, sometimes years in advance. We have utmost responsibility. We are ON the entire time, sometimes days before scouting locations, dealing with shot lists and editorial feeds.

But not the flamenco guitar player. No way. Don't bother him with calls, exact times or specifics. If you need him, he'll be at the bar, in his sandals, in his flowing white outfit and hair long past his shoulders. And if he's not at the bar, you better send your best friend to find the bridesmaids cause he might have found them first.

You know those Dos X's beer commercials, about the most interesting man in the world. This is the guy they are talking about. You can see his charisma from space. His bear hugs are actual hugs he gives to bears.

I remember working a wedding once. It was hot. Really hot. 112 to be exact. I was crouching down during the ceremony, a thousand and one thoughts on my mind, sweat running off my elbow, and I looked over and there he was. Margarita glass at shoeless feet, white linen outfit, backlit hair blowing in the wind. He looked right at me and I could just imagine him saying, "Stay thirsty my friend."

It was then and there, as my day only got more and more involved, that I realized I had made a poor decision all those years ago as I walked past the music room in elementary school. A quick glimpse inside, seeing other kids pounding on bongos. I should have turned, but instead, I kept walking on the path I follow today.

And now I can only look and admire from a distance, the work of this all powerful being.

You might see him later in the night, popping up here and there, showing a scar on his leg, his arm around the mother of the bride, speaking Urdu with another guest, only adding to the mystery and allure of the most important cog in the wedding wheel.

The List to End All Lists

Recently, I was told about a “top-ten list” which was published in one of the photo-magazines, a list detailing the best wedding photographers in the world.

I did not see this list or this magazine, but through the grapevine, I heard that there were many people who were somewhat upset by the photographers who ended up on this grand list.

My response to hearing this was laughter. Not laughter in a twisted way, just laughter in a pity way, laughing at anyone who was caught up in this current trend of list making or list reading.

First of all, if you haven’t noticed, it seems that every magazine is now making “list” issues at an alarming rate. But why you ask?

Well, the reason for all the lists is that our collective attention span is getting shorter and shorter. There was a study done recently regarding how we humans take in information in the technology age.

Due to our copious time spent on the internet, we are now taking in far more information than ever before, so much so that our brains, in some cases, have relearned how we process this information.

Anyone having trouble reading a book? This is one of the new signs that your brain might be having difficulty dealing with anything longer than the brief, pamphlet, or…..web story! Pick up a copy of The Atlantic. Their average article feels like War & Peace.

So, now we have the “list.”

For the magazines, these are a piece of cake. They require almost no text, can be about anything and require only tiny photographs, leaving room for more ad space dollars.

And, most importantly, they satisfy our need for the short, the simple, the easy, the fast.

In my opinion, they are a constant reminder of where we are headed, a world of fast-twitch journalism.

How about “Top Ten Places To Live,” the list you pray your hometown NEVER ends up on.

One of my favorites is the “Most Important People” list. I never tire of this one.

So back to the wedding photographer list.

When I hear about something like this, my response typically has nothing to do with the names on the list. My thoughts go straight to who created the list and why.

How old is this person? How long have they been in the industry? How long have they been a photographer? I don’t mean how long they have owned a camera. I mean how long have they actually been a photographer? How long have they been shooting weddings?
Or, was it a committee that chose?

Personally, I don’t’ think you can make a list like this unless you are on the inside of what you are listing about. I think most of the time, the people making these lists, have very little knowledge of what they are listing about.

I think this is the squeaky wheel syndrome. And hey, let’s not knock the squeaky wheel system, these lists, I think, are proof of how well this system works.

Someone said that this wedding list didn’t have any European photographers on it. I’m not sure if that is true, but my question was, “How about Latin American photographers? African? Asian?

Perhaps it would have been better to name this list, “The Top Ten American Wedding Photographers.” Or, “The Top Ten Wedding Photographers That This Author Knows About.”

The “World” title suggests a little bit too much ego.

Several of the best wedding photographers I know are complete unknowns. They don’t advertise, and they don’t tell people anything about what they are doing. They just shoot great pictures.

I can’t imagine them ever ending up on a list.

Lastly, for those who are upset over this list. Don’t’ worry about it. I shot weddings for several years and I never had a client mention anything about a list, ever, at any time. If this list was in a photo-magazine, I don’t think most brides are going to see it.

Here is some advice. Make you own list and put it on your homepage. “Top Ten Reasons to Hire Me,” list.

1-I’m cool.
2-I’m great looking.
3-I’m really funny.
4-I have a cool car.
5-Your mom will love me.
6-I’m exotic.
7-I workout
8-I wear all black.
9-I use the word “amazing” in every sentence.
10-I’m all about image.

Now, these are MY top ten. I’m not suggesting you use these! Make your own!! I already copyrighted this list and patented it as well. So don’t even think of using it. The t-shirts are being made right now. And the DVD. And I’m teaching a workshop regarding the list.

Good luck.

The Mayne Event: Celebrity Wedding

Okay, I haven't posted much about weddings, but this just ran in InStyle so I thought I would share with you.

This was fun, and was held in a great location. The two more important ingredients in any wedding, the right people and the right place. If these are not in line with you as a photographer, walk away. Really, it's better for all involved and someone else will come along.

In this case, they were both right for me. And, the snaps turned out really nice. A lot of square, black and white negative, and some color added in.

In the future, I'm doing less color, more black and white, and am probably going to eliminate all digital capture and go back to color negative, which I find far more suited to my lifestyle needs than digital color.

Everyone was very relaxed and fun to work with and the weather was near perfect.